Dear Heavenly Father,
My boyfriend John and I are talking again. It's sooo hard. I'm doing my best to be there for him I know with him fighting the cancer, combat PTSD, supporting his blind brother Mike, his military/govt work to now high medical bills from the cancer he's overwhelmed. I recently for my own mental health sake found a room for rent so I can let my sister have her space and I can be at peace. It's a year lease so I won't be able to move to be with John yet. I can go visit him more hoping John works with me. I know in past especially with the PTSD he would attempt to self sabotage because he feels I deserve better but I reassure him he's my best friend and love of my life. I'm in tears the constant hurt I have with family the yelling blaming me for things it's not healthy for me. I am in therapy and I know through therapy is that I can only control myself my actions and I did to place boundaries and or love my family from afar especially with all my health issues. I told one of my best friends if I don't step away from family the stress it has on me I will have another stroke. I know my family is angry at me but there's not much I can do. My therapist agrees I need to focus on my life and my health and John. So that is what I will continue to do. I don't know why my family is always angry at me but I most move forward if they are not willing to work with me. Deep down I do love them despite all the hurts. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means. I moving forward working on school finishing my degree even though I do have challenges with school now since my strokes work on my health and support and love John. Father please forgive me for all my sins. Please continue to place your healing hands on John rid of all the cancer cells in his body. I'm asking for a miracle to have John's health restored so he can further serve you and I have more time with my best friend. I'm hurt it's stressful but I will continue to pray keep faith and keep hope alive. I am truly struggling right now. We John and I can't do life without you. Thank you for your undying love support and grace you have given us. Thank you for what you will continue to do in our lives. We love you. In Jesus' name. Amen.