Dear Heavenly Father
Always asking for continued prayers for my boyfriend John Kemp whose fighting Stage 4 Stomach Cancer since January 2021. He is currently still on road with some work projects then on May 9th he's back home for treatments. We got some good news the last few follow ups with him. Father please continue to lay your healing hands on John rid of all the cancer cells in his body restore his health so he can further serve you. I'm also asking for prayers for myself I have a disability Dr evaluation this coming Monday. Father, I'm asking for continued guidance with my family. Today my sister Helen got angry so angry she started to message me while I was reviewing and taking my final exam for my class online which is due today. She was mad because there was rust with the dishes that was in sink bc I cooked dinner for her earlier this week. She came back from dog sitting my sister's dog this past weekend moody and angry. So I thought ok maybe if I make dinner it will help her. I didn't purposely leave the dishes in the sink as I was studying for my final today. I'm always the one she yells at in the family. Along with my other sister and my father. At this point Father all my family does is yell complain about me think I'm such a horrible person. In my heart I know I'm a good person I do my best to help and love others but I also have so much still dealing with my stroke recovery ong with my other health issues to finishing up my undergraduate degree online to bring there for John. I'm waiting to hear back from disability once I do I have plans to move to be with John. In my heart Father I love my family bc they are my family but for my health and sanity I feel as though I don't speak to family going forward. I don't want to but I feel it's necessary. I told my sister it's fine think and say what you want of me. Since my strokes Ive been going through therapy and on medication for my anxiety and skin picking and talking things out building boundaries and focusing on me and my health. I know going through therapy I've learned that they are ones with the problem and need help themselves but instead they decide to use me to blame everything on. I understand they have mental health issues but why is it I'm so hated by my family from my father I helped care for my ill mother at 9 to 13 with no one's help. I know they helped me financially in past due to me being young and having health issues. I do everything on my own. I don't ask for help my sister will buy me stuff I feel out of guilt I don't want to take it she gets angry if I take it she gets mad bc I don't pay her back. I'm tired father. I keep asking myself why I made it through my 2 strokes where I almost didn't. I know one thing I'm here for John to help love on him with his cancer. Please guide me.i do t want to just not talk to my family after I move but I feel it's necessary. Just how when my sister's asked me to live with my 82 year old dad I said no bc I need to focus on my health. They got angry. I'm just hated by my family. I know I'm not a bad person but they always make me feel I am. Im outside sitting a bit aways from the house in tears. Father I can't do life without your undying love and grace. Thank you for all that you have showed me I know you are always a constant in my life. Thank you for what you will continue to do in my life going forward. Im in tears to release my stress and anxiety. I will continue to pray everyday keep faith keep hope alive. I love you. In Jesus'name. Amen.