Dear Heavenly Father
With the great news about John as w continue to fight the cancer and pray for your dying grace and healing hands. I also have more prayers for myself and family.
I have started online schooling. It's challenging after 2 strokes but doing my best to get through it. Also, please continue to guide me in changing my major to Marketing and hoping once I meet all requirements and apply they accept me as I know it's competitive and most of my working experience has been in marketing. I'm working towards classes that are required working my best to get a high grade. Also my health isn't the great I've been gaining weight not eating as healthy as I should not walking as much and I have true anxiety over this. I'm also waiting on disability approval. Father please forgive me for all my sins please see me through to gain disability so I can continue to have insurance and take care of my health. I do understand I need a starting point and keeping consistent.
Also, I am living with my middle sister. Father, I feel my whole family hates me I am going to therapy and focusing on myself and placing boundaries. They get angry at me for everything stuff I didn't even do and more. I love my sister Helen I live with I am doing my best to help her but she gets angry when I help and when I don't help she still gets angry. I know she suffers from depression. She doesn't treat my other sister this way. My family both my older sisters yell and my father always yells. I want Helen to be happy find a husband. I know she wants me moved out as soon as possible waiting to hear back from disability and also work with John on a plan to move to be with him.
I love my family because I do. But I also placing boundaries for them not to yell at me and more. This doesn't help my health as well so I know I have to place boundaries so I don't get stressed out and have another stroke. Father, please guide me. I hurt because how I'm treated. But I do still try to be around just to show up. My therapist showing up takes a lot and if I don't feel like talking and having a full conversation with them that's ok. I just unfortunately have a lot of trust. It's why Im distant to a point. Father thank you for always being a guiding light and your undying grace. I can't do this without you. Please help guide me in my studies and major change to my disability approval and my health. Im pushing through giving it my all. I certainly make mistakes but learn from them and move forward. As for my family please guide Helen to seek happiness and find a husband that will support and love her. For my dad, keep him happy and healthy at the age of 82. As for my sister Lucy I haven't spoken to her much since my strokes...please keep her happy and my niece loved. Also overall I pray my family and John can be civil. I certainly don't blame John for being upset as they got involved in his work which jeopardized his position and the type of work military/govt many don't understand what it's like unless you are in it or know someone that does. I told John I'm not asking to be friends with them but as we get older esp my dad I'm doing my best to be civil. Please place your healing hands on our family. We love you I can't do life without you. Thank you for continuously loving and guiding me. In Jesus' name. Amen.